I have double powers as I’m neurodivergent and grew up in a highly traumatic household so you learn to pick on tiny signs that it’s about to pop off. Feel my life is fight or flight at all times.
Entire too relatable. I grew up in much the same way. Having that feeling as my baseline, my “normal”, made everything else feel wrong, but I could never fully put my finger on why. I developed a sense of stoicism so that I could get through each day showing as little outward reaction as possible. However, I confused that stoicism for calmness and stability; inside my mind everything still roiled as my instincts and senses were always watching and waiting, preparing for the next time things became dangerous.
Decades of living with that level of hypervigilance paired with the effort needed to put forward a stoic exterior has worn me down. The physical symptoms of chronic mental and emotional exhaustion are debilitating; the body really does pay a toll for the mind’s wounds. Maybe if twenty years ago I had the knowledge and resources that I do now, I could have done something to stave off what I’m going through.
All this to say: if you aren’t already, please seek counseling as soon as possible. Don’t make the same mistake I did; just like the smoker who denies that their habit it harmful, if you don’t work to heal your psychological wounds now, then it will eventually catch up to you. Be well, and take care of yourself.
Haut Potentiel or High Potential (I guess) in english.
People who can think in a specific way (some say treelike, or like a statistics cloud, getting access to information, but not only “if a gives b, and b gives c, then a gives c”) and have relatively high intelligence.
I can’t speak for OP, but in my case I could tell how “bad” a day was likely to be based on small clues that most people wouldn’t see. Tiny things like a slight increase in the pitch of a parent’s sigh, how quickly keys were put down as they came through the door, the position of their shoulders as they picked up a dinner fork. How the almost invisible deepening of the creases around their mouth and eyes matched the increasing tension in the air. Instantly knowing by the timbre of the footfalls climbing the stairs if I needed to pretend to be asleep.
Growing up in an abusive, trauma-inducing household fosters a talent to sense the proverbial “blood in the water,” and how likely it is to send the sharks into a frenzy.
I have double powers as I’m neurodivergent and grew up in a highly traumatic household so you learn to pick on tiny signs that it’s about to pop off. Feel my life is fight or flight at all times.
Entire too relatable. I grew up in much the same way. Having that feeling as my baseline, my “normal”, made everything else feel wrong, but I could never fully put my finger on why. I developed a sense of stoicism so that I could get through each day showing as little outward reaction as possible. However, I confused that stoicism for calmness and stability; inside my mind everything still roiled as my instincts and senses were always watching and waiting, preparing for the next time things became dangerous.
Decades of living with that level of hypervigilance paired with the effort needed to put forward a stoic exterior has worn me down. The physical symptoms of chronic mental and emotional exhaustion are debilitating; the body really does pay a toll for the mind’s wounds. Maybe if twenty years ago I had the knowledge and resources that I do now, I could have done something to stave off what I’m going through.
All this to say: if you aren’t already, please seek counseling as soon as possible. Don’t make the same mistake I did; just like the smoker who denies that their habit it harmful, if you don’t work to heal your psychological wounds now, then it will eventually catch up to you. Be well, and take care of yourself.
Hello my friend.
CPTSD & HP => knowing what people are going to do. But if you act on it people think you’re some sort of stalker, creep or manipulator.
Sorry for the thread necromancy, but what is HP in this context?
Haut Potentiel or High Potential (I guess) in english.
People who can think in a specific way (some say treelike, or like a statistics cloud, getting access to information, but not only “if a gives b, and b gives c, then a gives c”) and have relatively high intelligence.
No problem about the grave digging 😁
Is it the same as sourdoué?
Yess (I guess, maybe it’s not a perfect translation).
Thanks!
If you’re french or reading french this might be of interest.
Hardly. I can gleam just enough from the shared latin heritage to make me dangerous at short sentences. But thanks!
Edit after translating the page: oh, that’s neat! I wish I had this growing up where I lived!
give an example?
Dudes, why all the downvotes?
Thats pretty difficult as its almost like intuition. Your brain has learned about these micro signals and must picks up on vibes.
Just describe the situation
I can’t speak for OP, but in my case I could tell how “bad” a day was likely to be based on small clues that most people wouldn’t see. Tiny things like a slight increase in the pitch of a parent’s sigh, how quickly keys were put down as they came through the door, the position of their shoulders as they picked up a dinner fork. How the almost invisible deepening of the creases around their mouth and eyes matched the increasing tension in the air. Instantly knowing by the timbre of the footfalls climbing the stairs if I needed to pretend to be asleep.
Growing up in an abusive, trauma-inducing household fosters a talent to sense the proverbial “blood in the water,” and how likely it is to send the sharks into a frenzy.