I pretty much just sat at my desk, spaced out, and disassociated through most of grade school. In first grade I got detention for having a snowball fight, except I never did fight, and I was just picking up the snow to eat it (I was obsessed with eating snow as a kid). I was so confused and after that I felt like I couldn’t play or engage with anything, so I began to disengage as well.

It’s only recently that I’ve realized disassociating and disengaging have made me very lonely and are no longer helpful to me and I’ve started trying to put more effort into socializing, but I’m also not that great at it.