cross-posted from: https://piefed.world/c/scientificarticles/p/1459618/fear-responsibility-and-shame-in-young-mens-sexual-lives-new-study-suggests-that-many-yo

This study examines how this generation of young heterosexual men—who have come of age in the “age of consent”—emotionally experience sex. We thematically analyzed 31 in-depth interviews with men aged 18 to 32 years. The most striking finding is how rarely these men described enjoying sex. Three themes emerged. First, anxiety and vigilance accompanied sexual encounters. Second, there was a moral concern about causing harm to a sexual partner. Third, shame arose not only from accusations by others, but also from self-criticism. The themes overlap substantially, suggesting aspects of a complex, sometimes contradictory experience. The defining feature is an inward turn: a cultural suspicion of men appears to have been internalized by some young men. For these men, the question when navigating consent is often not only “does she want this?” but “am I the kind of man who could get this wrong?” Sex, as one participant put it, is “like you’re trying to defuse a bomb.” These young men have come to approach sex as a hazard to manage rather than a relational experience to share. They attributed this wariness to the cultural climate that surrounds consent.

    • Solumbran@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      Yeah that’s why you communicate. You know, this amazing thing called language? That’s the point of it.

      If your communication is so bad that you have no idea whether you’re raping your partner or not, then you should definitely not be having sex. That seems pretty absurdly basic, I don’t even know why I have to explain it.

    • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      Caring about people other than yourself without their consent is rape now, or something.

      And expecting them to care about you? That’s abuse.