Ugh, rumination!! Absolute bane of my existence! If I’m left alone with my thoughts, they go supernova on this shit. Apparently it’s a fight or flight mechanism? Or at least it’s trying to protect you, but it doesn’t, it just sends me into a spiral. I used to swear at it, but then I started swearing (at myself) in public (oops!) So I had to stop doing that.
But I’ve had so much trauma in my life, my brain has picked rumination as a way to “not get into an incident like that again, if we micro analyse every nee and old interaction” so I’m working on letting my nervous system know that doesn’t keep me safe, that’s actually putting me in danger, (it’ll break my self worth and sense of self, so much I won’t be able to socialise at all, or send me into overwhelm and distress). And i do a Physiological sigh. Mostly working so far.
I still occasionally cringe and spiral over things I did and said 15 years ago. Just typing out this comment is enough to make me feel the tug of the spiral again.
Ugh, rumination!! Absolute bane of my existence! If I’m left alone with my thoughts, they go supernova on this shit. Apparently it’s a fight or flight mechanism? Or at least it’s trying to protect you, but it doesn’t, it just sends me into a spiral. I used to swear at it, but then I started swearing (at myself) in public (oops!) So I had to stop doing that.
But I’ve had so much trauma in my life, my brain has picked rumination as a way to “not get into an incident like that again, if we micro analyse every nee and old interaction” so I’m working on letting my nervous system know that doesn’t keep me safe, that’s actually putting me in danger, (it’ll break my self worth and sense of self, so much I won’t be able to socialise at all, or send me into overwhelm and distress). And i do a Physiological sigh. Mostly working so far.
I still occasionally cringe and spiral over things I did and said 15 years ago. Just typing out this comment is enough to make me feel the tug of the spiral again.